These Dan Campbell quotes from Detroit Lions training camp are so fricking incredible, man.
For strictly soundbite purposes, HBO made a fantastic decision by putting Motor City Dan Campbell and his Detroit Lions on this season of Hard Knocks, man.
No kneecaps are safe in this NFL preseason, man. While the Lions look to build off a surprisingly decent 3-13-1 season for their lofty standards, all eyes are on their one-of-a-kind second-year head coach, man. Campbell has quickly emerged as the best quote to grace a football field since the iconic John McKay was saying whatever he felt like coaching the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, man.
His Lions “are fricking starving … so the hyenas better get out of the way,” man.
When it comes to receiver Josh Reynolds, “he’s slippery, man.” Whether he is the Praying Mantis, the Spider of Death or the Fricking Serpent, this wideout has more nicknames than Shaq, man.
Tyler Dunne may “have zero clue what, ‘we’ll tread water as long as it takes to f*****g bury you’ means, but got dam, it’s beautiful, man.
Why be the myth or the legend, when you can be the man like Dan Fricking Campbell, man?
Dan Campbell is becoming a fricking Hard Knocks legend by the nanosecond, man
We are only weeks away from crying out two doubleshot ventis from our collective tear ducts at the podium (doosh, doosh!), but what if these aren’t your same old sorry Lions, man? These men might have the heart of a lion, the eye of a tiger or any other cliched analogy to a ferocious big cat, man. Assuming Jared Goff has learned where the sun goes, they could be a fricking wagon, man!
On the whole, Detroit should be something around a third-place team in the NFC North this season, man. Even though Green Bay Packers star quarterback Aaron Rodgers is into Tool, witchcraft and cleansing these days, it is hard to see the Lions being better than the Packers right now, man. Probably not the Minnesota Vikings either, but the Chicago Bears downright suck, man.
Overall, there is a lot to be positive about with this Lions team, man. Not only did they pick up Aidan Hutchinson from the nearby land of khakis, they powered through the awkwardness Jim Harbaugh style to “steal” Jameson Williams away from the Minnesota Vikings, man. How sure are we that Kwesi Adofo-Mensah knows what he’s doing, man? Watch out for your kneecaps, man!
How can you not want to run through a barbed-wire fence for Motor City Dan Campbell, man?