Aaron Rodgers has a Nicolas Cage bust to display in the Green Bay Packers locker room.
After entering training camp dressed as Cameron Poe, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is officially worshipping Nicolas Cage as his false idol.
Blessed with a bust of Cage to put in his locker, we are one step closer to the two-time reigning NFL MVP practicing voodoo like Pedro Cerrano did in the Cleveland locker room back in the ’80s in the vicinity of Charlie Sheen. Not since Nic Cage himself paid Javy a visit has there been a man more willing to create a cult shrine to the pay homage to this unbearable weight of massive talent.
With the power of Nic Cage on his side, Rodgers will be Gone in 60 Seconds after sipping his tea.
Aaron Rodgers’ bust of Nicolas Cage is next-level weird, but so par for the course
How sure can we be that when Rodgers talks about facing off with the Lions or Vikings he is not referring to swapping faces with Jared Goff or Kirk Cousins? If that were to happen, the Lions would be a freaking wagon, man, under knee-capping head coach Dan Campbell. If Rodgers did face swap with Cousins, Vikings fans would like that, while Packers fans will suffer in primetime.
Truth be told, Rodgers is teammates with many men who weren’t born when Cage first decided to leave Las Vegas. We can probably count on one hand the amount of Packers players currently who weren’t in diapers when Hi was stealing diapers while trying to Raise Arizona. It will come as no surprise what Rodgers’ mugshot will look when he tries to steal the Declaration of Independence.
Ultimately, we are just going to ask ourselves how did this Packers’ season get burnt to a crisp. Somebody didn’t put the bunny back in the box, I’m afraid. Sadly, there is only one way this is going to end. After worshipping a false idol on a remote island in the Pacific Ocean, it will be like the final scene of The Wicker Man for ole Aaron “Nicolas Cage” Rodgers. Just another bee movie…
The question is if he will be midway through another PK cleanse when he collects his next Oscar.