Buffalo Bills. (Mandatory Credit: Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports)
You will never want to be a Buffalo Bills fan more than after watching this hype video.
We will premeditatedly pour a tall boy out for all those poor Western New York folding tables that will be lit on fire and pile-driven through ahead of the Buffalo Bills‘ triumphant return to the AFC Championship.
Not since the earliest years of the Bill Clinton Administration have the Bills been this good. They are but one win away from getting back to the Super Bowl. Though the 2020 AFC Championship game is on the road at Arrowhead vs. the juggernaut Kansas City Chiefs, that will not be an issue for the card-carrying members of Bills Mafia and the many fine folks hoping on their bandwagon.
There will be a domestic buffalo wing and celery shortage after Sunday’s game
With the game less than 24 hours away, now is the perfect time to start pre-gaming the pre-game. Go find the equivalent Pinto Ron in your life and start downing shots out a bowling ball. The only bath you need in the lead-up to this game is one where you are covered in ketchup and mustard. If you do not have condiments oozing out of your ears and nose, the Bills will not win.
If you ever wanted to see if you can set a personal best with however many chicken wings you can consuming in one sitting, now is that time. If you prefer drums to flats or vice versa, that is fine, but if you covet those of the boneless variety, it is not unreasonable for someone to toss you overboard and into Niagara Falls. You could survive, but you are killing the Bills with the boneless!
Good Morning Football‘s Kyle Brandt may hail from Illinois originally, but you know gosh darn well what team he is rooting for on Sunday. The Chiefs may have a kingdom, but the Bills have a mafia. So go find a copy of Dizzy Up the Girl, crank that album until you slide off the hood of your buddy Ron’s car and through a dang flaming folding table. “I just want you to know that I am a Bills fan.”
Is wing sauce flammable, because if it is, we have got the ranch or bleu cheese to cool you off.