Chad Johnson, Cincinnati Bengals. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Chad Johnson is better at autographing jerseys than any human being to ever live.
Chad Johnson may not be a Pro Football Hall of Famer (yet), but he is a hall of famer in our books, almost entirely on his ability to sign Ochocinco Cincinnati Bengals jerseys.
The speed and efficiency Johnson and his autographing team are operating with is extraordinary. There is no misguided movement and no wasted effort. You might even think they are dang automatons who do not even have to breathe to do a great job. From an operations management standpoint, this is the zenith of efficiency, signed sincerely with a “Slow hands don’t eat.”
Raise your hand if you want a signed Chad Johnson Ochocinco Bengals jersey
Johnson/Ochocinco played 10 seasons in the Queen City for the Bengals. He was a six-time Pro Bowler in Cincinnati uniform, making four All-Pro teams and leading the NFL in receiving yards in 2006. While the Bengals never won a playoff game during his time in Cincinnati, he was one of the best players the franchise has ever had, helping the team turn the corner under Marvin Lewis.
While Johnson may only end up a Hall of Very Good player, he was an unforgettable player during his decade-plus career in the NFL. He was every bit talented as he was productive. But when we think about Johnson, we think about Ochocinco and the on-field celebratory antics. He was a man way ahead of his time, a trailblazer that we were just not ready for. Man, his hands are still so fast.
Who cares if you can type 120 words a minute, can you sign 60 Ochocinco jerseys in a minute?