On the latest episode of Can’t Get Right, the Atlanta Falcons somehow found a way to botch almost the entire new uniform update and release process. Really?
If it’s not much of an improvement, that only means it’s worse.
The Atlanta Falcons said they were going to have new uniforms for the upcoming 2020 NFL season. That’s great and all, as the Falcons’ former jerseys weren’t anything to right home about. They were fine, but nowhere near a top-10 thread in the NFL. In short, they were bland and very much in the vein of the early 2000s gotta be cool vibe. So a change was necessary, you could say.
Turns out, change isn’t always a good thing, even though it’s the only constant in our lives. On Tuesday night, the uniforms the Falcons were planning to release to the public on April 14 were leaked on Twitter. Even though everybody brings their phone everywhere they go, the negligence by security should be a fireable offense. This forced Atlanta to release its jerseys prematurely.
The original release date of April 14 will now be the day the threads will be available for purchase to the public. The question is who’s going to buy them? Simply put, there is a lot of good, a lot of bad and a lot of down right ugly here.
Okay…let’s start…
The best jersey of the four is the one wide receiver Calvin Ridley is wearing (No. 18). This is the iconic 1990s “Back in Black” throwback. These are the home jerseys the Falcons wore in the latter years of Deion Sanders in Atlanta and when The Dirty Birds went to the Super Bowl in 1998.
You can deny it all you want, but you know deep down in your soul these are the best jerseys in franchise history. This should be the No. 1 jersey the Falcons should wear. It’s the best and the best there ever will be. It’s perfect and you don’t mess with perfect unless you’re stupid.
The white jersey linebacker Deion Jones is wearing (No. 45) is clean and does have a way of growing on you. Admittedly, they look like pajamas with the all-white look. Because it’s so hard to make white jerseys move the needle, they often don’t register. So you could say these are a slight upgrade over what Atlanta was wearing on the road previously, but that’s not really a stretch.
The black jersey quarterback Matt Ryan has on (No. 2) will be the primary jersey Atlanta wears at home. It’s not bad for an entirely new kit. The red and white side stripes nicely accent the all-black thread. Though the jersey numbers and the red ATL above them are a little new wave, people may end up liking these more than they do now if the Falcons start winning again. That’s the key here.
As for the red gradient jersey defensive tackle Grady Jarrett has on (No. 97), those should never see the light of day. It is some Jacksonville Jaguars’ two-toned Arena League B.S. This is the wrong kind of Fade to Black, the type Metallica would never approve of. Just because Grady sound enough like gradient doesn’t give the Falcons the right to subject their employee to this hardship.
I seriously cannot believe the fine folks over in Flowery Branch told their best defensive player to put that god-awful monstrosity on. You do realize Jarrett is a Falcons’ legacy, right? Like, his father is Jessie Tuggle, one of the 10 greatest players in the history of the franchise. “The Hammer” should take a hammer to something the Falcons hold dearly for embarrassing his son like this.
If the Falcons play a single game in those jerseys, they deserve to lose. Any revenue generated from the game deserves to be skimmed by an untrustworthy individual and sent into an offshore account, never to be seen again. If you strive to be Jeff Fisher 7-9 B.S. again for the third year in a row, you wear those kits not fit to wipe your ass with and lose your entire fanbase in the process.
Oh, my god, they are so f*****g hideous!
Any who…to attempt to end this uniform rant on a positive note, the throwbacks are amazing and are now firmly part of the jersey rotation. As long as the other team isn’t opting to wear black, the Falcons should fight to wear those uniforms every game no matter where they play, just like the Dallas Cowboys and the LSU Tigers do in white.
Though the all-white everything might end up being comical, there’s nothing too offensive by the white jerseys to get all that fired up about. Again, they’re fine. The new black uniforms will find a way to grow on people. It’s a bold risk the Falcons organization were willing to make and they might somehow pull it off. I mean, it could be worse…
Grady Jarrett deserves to be the second-highest paid defensive tackle in the NFL behind only Aaron Donald of the Los Angeles Rams for being forced to wear the worst uniform professional football has ever seen. Somebody give The Truck Driver a hug, please. We love you, Grady and we are here for you. I am so sorry.